Sunday, 24 September 2006

How men and women differ...

For your reading pleasure...

* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they willcall each other Laura, Kate and Sarah
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes

* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators

* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale

* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items

* A woman has the last word in any argument
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument

* Women love cats
* Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats

* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife

* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend
* A successful woman is one who can find such a man

* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does

* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book,and get the post.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals

* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night

* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopesand dreams
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people livingin the house

* Any married man should forget his mistakes. There'sno use in two people remembering the same thing.

* What a woman says: C'mon...This place is a mess. You and I need to clean. Your trousers are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do the laundry now.
* What a man hears: C'MON... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NO

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