馬來西亞的古今詩歌

It's been frustrated for what is happening in Malaysia all these while, suddenly my friend send me this poem, enjoy...

Sorry for those who doesn't understand mandarin or non-Malaysian. Hahaha…

馬來西亞的古今詩歌

從前英國殖民地
阿巫阿華和阿印
大家一齊坐LORI
大家一同吃ROTI
還會一起打GULI
凡事都會講道理
後來幾個老KAKI
無端端去搞獨立
從此阿巫就稱帝
樣樣都要講BUMI
阿華阿印變小弟
就算付出多努力
面對不平眼淚滴
多說幾句把你踢
再吵舉劍給警剔
奉勸安哥和安娣
姐妹大哥和小弟
投票給它就MATI
五十年來沒政績
國州議會亂放屁
特權拐杖不肯棄
喜歡喜歡舉keris
還講要用血來洗
不然炸藥碎屍體
明明淨賺幾百億
油費路費還要起
RM幾十億搭taxi
送人上去做roti
還要埃及插國旗
國會漏水漏滿地
天橋隨時壓死你
拉姑眼淚加鼻涕
拉伯睡覺更夠力
還有他的好女婿
老查皇宮大手筆
甘叔不認他ugly
香米換番薯一粒
根哥數學有問題
要起華小不可以
國 小起了養denggi
和平集會全抓去
反而稱贊mat rempit
墨水點指tak jadi
外勞還能變bumi
五年一到糖一粒
阿山突然很friendly
贏了之後全忘記
繼續吸血亂砍你
天平歪了國家大問題
管它眼睛月亮還是DAP
爲國爲民一律送進去！

EPF 8% Means Paying More Income Tax

Assume monthly basic salary is RM4000.
- If your monthly EPF contribution is 11% ( RM440 ),
taxable income = RM3560,
income tax payable = RM77.

- If your monthly EPF contribution is 8% ( RM320 ),
taxable income = RM3680,
income tax payable = RM109.

Conclusion :
If you choose to contribute 8%, you will end up paying more income tax to the government, which will make the government richer.
Finance Minister Najib said this measure is meant to boost up the slow-down market, but from this example wee see that the money does not go into the market. Instead the money goes direct into the government's pocket through the greater amount of income tax that we will have to pay.
Obviously this measure does not help the market at all.
Do we still want this kind of government that doesn't have the best interest of the people in mind?



假设 薪水RM4000，

- 选择 EPF 11%也就是RM440，taxable income 是 RM3560，所以tax = RM77
- 选择 EPF 8% 也就是RM320，taxable income 是 RM3680，所以tax = RM109

有没有这样的可能？政府揾我们笨！

2008 年大馬金马奖得奖名单

最佳电影：《308之夜》

最佳导演： 安华《916之梦》

最佳男主角： 伯拉《梦中人》

最佳女主角： 郭素沁《监狱风云之火箭十三妹》

最佳男配角： 阿末伊斯迈《寄人篱下》

最佳女配角： 陈云清《洗冤录3》

最佳新人： 赛夫《股惑仔之后庭开花》

最具人气： 柏特拉《光头博客》

最佳外国电影 / 最佳编剧 / 最佳特效 / 最佳剪接： 纳吉《人肉叉烧包之蒙古碎尸》

最佳本土电影： 《林甘正传》

最佳成人电影： 《老蔡传奇之同一个房间》

最佳悬疑片： 《C+侦探之一切由失踪开始》

最佳恐怖片： 《午夜凶令之ISA》

最佳旅游宣传片： 《远走高飞之台湾考察团》

最佳电影主题曲： 行动党《改变》

最佳服装设计： 黄燕燕《透明睡衣》

终身成就奖： 马哈迪《黑马王子之重出江湖》



评审团： 大马人民

Missing

Hehe i like this one!

There was a saying that if you have other nationalities working as domestic help in your household, chances are..

the following goes missing.....
(see below).............

>> Get Viets, dogs missing
>> Get Bangla,girls missing
>> Get Indon, money missing
>> Get Chinese, husband missing
>> Get African, wife missing

>> But now its worse... this pilihan raya betui-betui kepala pusing!

>> Get Najib, Mongolian missing
>> Get Toyo, temples missing
>> Get Samy, shares missing
> > Get Rustam, pigs missing
>> Get Zainudin, info missing
>> Get Nazri, truth missing
>> Get Hisham, keris missing
>> Get Soi Lek, Viagra missing
>> Get Dr M, memory missing
>> Get Ka Ting, do nothing, every 'ting' missing
>> Get Badawi, always sleeping and missing
>> Get Tsu Koon, LP missing
>> Get Kit Siang, chilli padi missing
>> Get Anwar, tilam missing

>> Alamak, betui-betui kepala pusing.....

>> GET KHAIRY JAMALUDDIN... MALAYSIA MISSING!

Hahahaha... these were from forwarded e-mail, i am not the author.

The wisdom of Dr. M

The person who produced this is a genius!

When Dr. Mahathir was Prime Minister of Malaysia.

One lousy day in the middle of the economic crisis, PM Mahathir was feeling extremely frustrated and wondering how a small neighbouring country can be doing better than Malaysia. One of his aides said, I heard that their leaders consult Feng Shui masters to ensure prosperity for the country. Dr Mahathir thought if that was the case, Malaysia Bomoh also can, and went to seek the top bomoh's advice in the country.

After reviewing the case, the bomoh told Dr M that there were 2 things that he must do:

Bomoh: Step 1. You must blame the crisis on SOROS for everything.
Dr M: But Why ?
Bomoh: Because SOROS stands for 'Speculate On Ringgit Or Stocks'. You must blame him, and look at ways to control the ringgit and stock market.

Bomoh : Step 2 - You must get rid of ANWAR.
Dr M: What! Why him ?
Bomoh:Because ANWAR stands for 'A Nation Without Any Ringgit'..
Dr M: But how ? This is most difficult to do, he is popular with the people.

Bomoh : Aiyoh, you bodoh lah! Look at your name, MAHATHIR means 'Make Anwar Homosexual And Then Highlight It Repeatedly'.

Hahaha...
No offence, just joking

Vote for change

大選漫畫 大选漫画

Malaysia is amazing

在哪里你可以看到全世界最烂的工程部长 - 马来西亚
原因：沙美维鲁只有中六的学历，国会大厦经过接近一亿的装修，还是经常漏水。
政府医院发霉，高速公路有裂痕，最要命的是签了那些不知所谓的大道合同，赔死我们。
更要命的是，他到现在还是工程部长！

在哪里可以看到超人般的部长 - 马来西亚
原因：我们的首相阿杜拉 - 回教系毕业，但是可以同时作为财政部长，国家安全部长及首相，还有时间在南马大水灾发生时去澳洲为自己弟弟的nasi kandar店开幕。

在哪里可以看到不卫生的卫生部长 - 马来西亚
原因：身为医生的卫生部长和卖花女开房，口交。
或许我们的卫生部长的老婆没有和黄燕燕副部长讨教，如何穿性感的睡衣，绑住卫生部长的心？

在哪里可以看到最成功的教育部长 - 马来西亚
原因：他的孩子都在澳洲读书。

在哪里可以看到最会演戏的贸工部长 - 马来西亚
原因：AP事件没完没了，拉姑流了一把鼻涕一把泪后，没事！

在哪里做议员最爽 - 马来西亚
原因：能够从火车闸看守员，做到巴生议员，再盖了一个千万皇宫，还请埋普罗大众一 起去他的house warming。
老查的钱哪里来？没关系，吃他两支satay再说！

在哪里可以找到最善忘的人民 - 马来西亚
原因：未详，或许马来西亚的土壤上有着一种神秘物质，会让人民记忆消退，继续投票给那些没有用的贪官污吏。

Malaysia Boleh!

Pantun buat Pak Lah

PANTUN BUAT PAK LAH
ANYWAY CONGRATS TO PAK LAH.......

Pak Lah pelopor Islam Hadhari
Tak lama lagi dapat seorang isteri
Tukang penyedap tiang seri
Combi-combi frust gigit jari
Terlepas jadi isteri Perdana Menteri
Pak Lah pilih adik-ipar bekas isteri
Semua dah berkenan kata Khairi
Spokesperson untuk Kamal dan Nori
Auntie Jeanne tidak asing bagi kami

Majlis akad nikah is for family only
If you are not invited very sorry
Just a simple akadnikah ceremony
Pak Lah don wan any dowry
If you are sending gift send them to me
I will donate to all charity body
But expensive gift can close one eye only
Expensive gift is like Porsche or Ferrari
Rolex, Patek Phillipe, Omega or Bvlgari
Small gift like Selangor Pewter or Crabtree
Ucapan tahniah boleh taruh Utusan and NST
Since UMNO owned both company

Kenapa I pilih nak kahwin lagi
Itu satu soalan peribadi
Anyway masih banyak ruang di hati
Tapi I tak kahwin lebih dua isteri
Itu you all dont worry
I bukan miang keladi
I just need a company
Since I am very lonely
And you know I am old already
Who want to take care of me
Anyway lama dah ni
You know lah mana tahan lagi
Don't offer me any Tongkat Ali
I will go slow and steady
Honeymoon of course luar negeri
Tak main lah Pangkor or Langkawi
Naik I punya jet peribadi
Nak main aci lot with my new isteri
Itu Menteri Budaya dia sudah perli
Dia kata I akan lebih bertenaga lagi
Nanti I pecat dia jadi Hantu punya menteri
Okay lah joke only
Nothing to do yang hidup atau yang mati.

Malaysian government...what a shame!

dua-dua kerja pun rasa tak cukup... anyway syukur alhamdulillah....

Subject: Can a family man with salary RM3,000 survive in Malaysia????

Let's do some simple calculations here.

In Malaysia, the average family income is RM3,000/month (where father works, mother doesn't).

It is understood that there are many families whose monnthly income does not reach RM3,000, but, to make things simple, let's take RM3,000 as the figure. Ok lah, right?

Okay, let's start rolling with a family which has Papa, Mama, 1 daughter and 1 son. Just nice - a moderate family ....

Calculation starts...

> > > Electricity and water bill: RM100
> > > (No air-con, No home theatre, No water heater ... ok?)

> > > Phone bill (Telekom, now TM): RM100

> > > Meals for a happy family: RM775
> > > (3 meals on RM25/day, RM25 for 4 persons...?)

> > > Papa tea time at work / during working hrs: RM155
> > > (RM5/day, RM5 ... can eat what?)

> > > Car repayment: RM400
> > > (A proton saga aeroback, 7 years repayment)

> > > Petrol (living in city, traffic-jam): RM300
> > > (go to work, bring son to school, only can afford one car running)

> > > Insurance:RM650
> > > (kids, wife and myself)

> > > House repayment: RM750
> > > (low cost housing repayment for 30 yrs, retired still have to work to pay!)

> > > Tuition: RM80
> > > (got that cheap meh? i don't think so)

> > > Older children pocket money @ school: RM20
> > > (RM1/day, eat bread?)

> > > School fees: RM30
> > > (enough ah?)

> > > School books and etc: RM100
> > > (always got extra to pay in school)

> > > Younger children milk powder: RM50
> > > (cannot have the DHA, BHA, PHA one, expensive)

> > > Miscellaneous: RM100
> > > (shampoo, rice, sauce, toilet paper)

Oh wait!!! I have to stop here, so...

No cable tv,
no movie @ cinema,
no DVD,
no CD,
no online,
cannot KFC,
cannot McDonald,
cannot go Park walk during weekend (petrol expensive),
no chit chat on phone with grandparents,
no handphone,
and etc...

Let's use a calculator to total up...
WALAO EH! Sh*t! RM3,610 already...

EPF(super annuation) haven been deducted, income tax as well........but already RM3,610 leh...

How to survive lah ladies & gentlemen???

Our Deputy Prime Minister asked us to change lifestyle?

How to change? Don't eat? Don't work? Don't send children to school and study?

Besides that, I believe in Malaysia population, there are millions of Malaysian which still don't earn RM3,000/month!!!

What is this? Is this Malaysia Spirit? Malaysian Boleh again??!! Sorry... it should be Malaysians Spirit, because we're still alive and kicking!!

Our politicians must be mad!!!!

Please forward and comment the malaysian spirit. No wonder the growth of the loan shark company.!!

Think about it