遇到你真的愛的人時, 要努力爭取和他相伴一生的機會因為當他離去時. 一切都來不及了....
When you meet the one you love, you have to fight for the opportunity to accompany him/her. When he is away from you, everything is too late.
遇到可相信的朋友時 要好好和他相處下去, 因為在人的一生中. 可遇到知己真的不易
When you meet the reliable friends, you have to get along with him/her well. Because it’s not easy to meet a soul mate in your life.
遇到人生中的貴人時 要記得好好感激, 因為他是你人生的轉折點
When you meet the important guy in your life, you must remember to appreciate his/her kindness. Because he/she plays an important role in your life.
遇到曾經愛過的人? ?記得微笑向他感激, 因為他是讓你更懂愛的人
When you meet the one you loved, remember to smile and thank them. Because he/she helped you to understand more love .
遇到曾經恨過的人時 要微笑向他打招呼, 因為他讓你更加堅強
When you meet the one you hated, remember to smile and say hello. He made you become stronger.
遇到曾經背叛你的人時 要跟他好好聊一聊, 因為若不是他今天你不會懂這世界
When you meet the one who betrayed to you, you have to talk to him/her well. If not because of his/her betrayal, you can’t understand this world.
遇到曾經偷偷喜歡的人時 要祝他幸福唷！因為你喜歡他時 不是希望他幸福快樂嗎？
When you meet the one you loved secretly, you have to wish him happy! When you like him, you just hope that he is happy .
遇到匆匆離開你人生的人時 要謝謝他走過你的人生, 因為他是你精采回憶的一部分
When you meet the one who get away from your life in a hurry, you gotta thank him/her for being together with you. He/she is the splendid part of your memory.
遇到曾經和你有誤會的人時 要趁現在解清誤會, 因為你可能只有這一次機會解釋清楚
When you meet the one who have the misunderstanding with you, you have to explain about it now. Maybe this is the last chance for you to explain it clearly.
遇到現在和相伴一生的人, 要百分百感謝他愛你, 因為你們現在都得到幸福和真愛
For the one who is accompanying you now, you have to appreciate that he loves you. Because you guys both get your happiness and true love now.
幸福是靠自己去爭取的~不管是友情或愛情很多事情~~錯過了就沒有了, 錯過了就是會變的--
You have to fight for your happiness! No matter friendship or love, if you miss it, it’s gone or changed.
有信心不一定會成功，沒有信心一定不會成功
You might not be success with confidence, but without confidence you will never success.
Monday, 29 January 2007
Installing Love
Installing Love 
Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I’ve decided to install Love. Can you guide me though the process?
Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
Customer: Well, I’m not very technical, but I think I’m ready. What do I do first?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?
Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?
Tech Support: What programs are running ?
Customer: Let’s see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.
Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?
Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?
Tech Support: Don’t worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.
Customer: So, what should I do?
Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.
Customer: Okay, done.
Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming.
Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?
Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running.
One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.
Customer: Thank you, God.
Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I’ve decided to install Love. Can you guide me though the process?
Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
Customer: Well, I’m not very technical, but I think I’m ready. What do I do first?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?
Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?
Tech Support: What programs are running ?
Customer: Let’s see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.
Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?
Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?
Tech Support: Don’t worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.
Customer: So, what should I do?
Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.
Customer: Okay, done.
Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming.
Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?
Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running.
One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.
Customer: Thank you, God.
你的肩上有蜻蜓嗎?
給你講一個故事:
那是一個非常寧靜而美麗的小城, 有一對非常恩愛的戀人, 他們每天都去海邊看日出, 晚上去海邊送夕陽, 每個見過他們的人都向他們投來羨慕的目光 。
可是有一天, 在一場車禍中, 女孩不幸受了重傷, 她靜靜地躺在醫院的病床上, 幾天幾夜都沒有醒過來。白天, 男孩就守在床前不停地呼喚毫無知覺的戀人; 晚上, 他就跑到小城的教堂裡向上帝禱告, 他已經哭乾了眼淚。
一個月過去了, 女孩仍然昏睡著, 而男孩早已憔悴不堪了, 但他仍苦苦地支撐著。終於有一天, 上帝被這個痴情的男孩感動了。於是他決定給這個執著的男孩一個例 外。上帝問他: “你願意用自己的生命作為交換嗎﹖”男孩毫不猶豫地回答: “我願意! ” 上帝說: “那好吧, 我可以讓你的戀人很快醒過來, 但你要答應化作三年 的蜻蜓, 你願意嗎﹖” 男孩聽了, 還是堅定地回答道: “我願意! ”
天亮了, 男孩已經變成了一隻漂亮的蜻蜓, 他告別了上帝便匆匆地飛到了醫院。女孩真的醒了, 而且她還在跟身旁的一位醫生交談著什麼, 可惜他聽不到。
幾天後, 女孩便康復出院了, 但是她並不快樂。她四處打聽著男孩的下落, 但沒有人知道男孩究竟去了哪裡。女孩整天不停地尋找著, 然而早已化身成蜻蜓的男孩卻 無時無刻不圍繞在她身邊, 只是他不會呼喊, 不會擁抱, 他只能默默地承受著她的視而不見。夏天過去了, 秋天的涼風吹落了樹葉, 蜻蜓不得不離開這裡。於是他最 後一次飛落在女孩的肩上。他想用自己的翅膀撫摸她的臉, 用細小的嘴來親吻她的額頭, 然而他弱小的身體還是不足以被她發現。
轉眼間, 春天來了, 蜻蜓迫不及待地飛回來尋找自己的戀人。然而, 她那熟悉的身影旁站著一個高大而英俊的男人, 那一剎那, 蜻蜓幾乎快從半空中墜落下來。人們 講起車禍後女孩病得多麼的嚴重, 描述著那名男醫生有多麼的善良﹑可愛, 還描述著他們的愛情有多麼的理所當然, 當然也描述了女孩已經快樂如從前。
蜻蜓傷心極了, 在接下來的幾天中, 他常常會看到那個男人帶著自己的戀人在海邊看日出, 晚上又在海邊看日落, 而他自己除了偶爾能停落在她的肩上以外, 什麼也做不了。
這一年的夏天特別長, 蜻蜓每天痛苦地低飛著, 他已經沒有勇氣接近自己昔日的戀人。她和那男人之間的喃喃細語, 他和她快樂的笑聲, 都令他窒息。
第三年的夏天, 蜻蜓已不再常常去看望自己的戀人了。她的肩被男醫生輕擁著, 臉被男醫生輕輕地吻著, 根本沒有時間去留意一隻傷心的蜻蜓, 更沒有心情去懷唸過去。
上帝約定的三年期限很快就要到了。就在最後一天, 蜻蜓昔日的戀人跟那個男醫生舉行了婚禮。
蜻蜓悄悄地飛進教堂, 落在上帝的肩膀上, 他聽到下面的戀人對上帝發誓說: 我願意! 他看著那個男醫生把戒指戴到昔日戀人的手上, 然後看著他們甜蜜地親吻著。蜻蜓流下了傷心的淚水。
上帝嘆息著: “ 你後悔了嗎﹖” 蜻蜓擦乾了眼淚: “ 沒有! ” 上帝又帶著一絲愉悅說: “那麼, 明天你就可以變回你自己了。” 蜻蜓搖了搖頭: “就讓我做一輩子蜻蜓吧! ”
有些緣份是註定要失去的, 有些緣份是永遠不會有好結果的。愛一個人不一定要擁有, 但擁有一個人就一定要好好去愛他。你的肩上有蜻蜓嗎﹖
祝願天下有情人終成眷屬!
Frankly i think not much people are willing to sacrifice as love is always comes with selfishness...
那是一個非常寧靜而美麗的小城, 有一對非常恩愛的戀人, 他們每天都去海邊看日出, 晚上去海邊送夕陽, 每個見過他們的人都向他們投來羨慕的目光 。
可是有一天, 在一場車禍中, 女孩不幸受了重傷, 她靜靜地躺在醫院的病床上, 幾天幾夜都沒有醒過來。白天, 男孩就守在床前不停地呼喚毫無知覺的戀人; 晚上, 他就跑到小城的教堂裡向上帝禱告, 他已經哭乾了眼淚。
一個月過去了, 女孩仍然昏睡著, 而男孩早已憔悴不堪了, 但他仍苦苦地支撐著。終於有一天, 上帝被這個痴情的男孩感動了。於是他決定給這個執著的男孩一個例 外。上帝問他: “你願意用自己的生命作為交換嗎﹖”男孩毫不猶豫地回答: “我願意! ” 上帝說: “那好吧, 我可以讓你的戀人很快醒過來, 但你要答應化作三年 的蜻蜓, 你願意嗎﹖” 男孩聽了, 還是堅定地回答道: “我願意! ”
天亮了, 男孩已經變成了一隻漂亮的蜻蜓, 他告別了上帝便匆匆地飛到了醫院。女孩真的醒了, 而且她還在跟身旁的一位醫生交談著什麼, 可惜他聽不到。
幾天後, 女孩便康復出院了, 但是她並不快樂。她四處打聽著男孩的下落, 但沒有人知道男孩究竟去了哪裡。女孩整天不停地尋找著, 然而早已化身成蜻蜓的男孩卻 無時無刻不圍繞在她身邊, 只是他不會呼喊, 不會擁抱, 他只能默默地承受著她的視而不見。夏天過去了, 秋天的涼風吹落了樹葉, 蜻蜓不得不離開這裡。於是他最 後一次飛落在女孩的肩上。他想用自己的翅膀撫摸她的臉, 用細小的嘴來親吻她的額頭, 然而他弱小的身體還是不足以被她發現。
轉眼間, 春天來了, 蜻蜓迫不及待地飛回來尋找自己的戀人。然而, 她那熟悉的身影旁站著一個高大而英俊的男人, 那一剎那, 蜻蜓幾乎快從半空中墜落下來。人們 講起車禍後女孩病得多麼的嚴重, 描述著那名男醫生有多麼的善良﹑可愛, 還描述著他們的愛情有多麼的理所當然, 當然也描述了女孩已經快樂如從前。
蜻蜓傷心極了, 在接下來的幾天中, 他常常會看到那個男人帶著自己的戀人在海邊看日出, 晚上又在海邊看日落, 而他自己除了偶爾能停落在她的肩上以外, 什麼也做不了。
這一年的夏天特別長, 蜻蜓每天痛苦地低飛著, 他已經沒有勇氣接近自己昔日的戀人。她和那男人之間的喃喃細語, 他和她快樂的笑聲, 都令他窒息。
第三年的夏天, 蜻蜓已不再常常去看望自己的戀人了。她的肩被男醫生輕擁著, 臉被男醫生輕輕地吻著, 根本沒有時間去留意一隻傷心的蜻蜓, 更沒有心情去懷唸過去。
上帝約定的三年期限很快就要到了。就在最後一天, 蜻蜓昔日的戀人跟那個男醫生舉行了婚禮。
蜻蜓悄悄地飛進教堂, 落在上帝的肩膀上, 他聽到下面的戀人對上帝發誓說: 我願意! 他看著那個男醫生把戒指戴到昔日戀人的手上, 然後看著他們甜蜜地親吻著。蜻蜓流下了傷心的淚水。
上帝嘆息著: “ 你後悔了嗎﹖” 蜻蜓擦乾了眼淚: “ 沒有! ” 上帝又帶著一絲愉悅說: “那麼, 明天你就可以變回你自己了。” 蜻蜓搖了搖頭: “就讓我做一輩子蜻蜓吧! ”
有些緣份是註定要失去的, 有些緣份是永遠不會有好結果的。愛一個人不一定要擁有, 但擁有一個人就一定要好好去愛他。你的肩上有蜻蜓嗎﹖
祝願天下有情人終成眷屬!
Frankly i think not much people are willing to sacrifice as love is always comes with selfishness...
你爱对人了吗?
你发觉了吗？爱的感觉总是在一开始时甜蜜，总觉得多了一个人陪，多了一个人帮你分担，你终于不再孤单了，因为至少有一个人想着你、恋着你，只要能在一起就是好的。
但是慢慢地，随着认识的加深，你开始发现了对方的缺点，于是问题一个接一个出现，你开始烦、累，甚至想要逃避，有人说爱情就像捡石，总想捡到一个适合自己的，但是你又如何知道什么时候能够捡到呢？她适合你，那你又适合她吗？
其实，爱情应该像磨石子儿，或许刚捡到的时候，你不是那么满意，但是请记住，人是有弹性的，很多事情是可以改变的，只要你有心，有勇气，与其到处去捡未知 的石头，还不如将自己已经拥有的石头磨亮磨光，你开始磨了吗？很多人以为，是因为感情淡了，人才会变得懒惰，其实人是先被惰性征服，感惰才慢慢变淡的。
在某个聚餐的场合，有人提议多吃点虾对身体好，这时候有个中年男人忽然说：“十年前，当我老婆还是我女朋友的时候，她说要吃十只虾，我就剥二十只给她。现在，如果她要我帮她剥虾壳，简直就是开玩笑，我连帮她夹菜都没兴趣了，还剥虾壳呢。”
难怪越来越多的人只想谈一辈子恋爱，却迟迟不肯走入婚姻。因为，婚姻容易让人变得懒惰。
如果每个人都懒得讲话，懒得倾听，懒得制造惊喜，懒得温柔体贴，那么夫妻之间，又怎么会不渐行渐远渐无声呢？所以请记住，有活力的爱情是需要适度殷勤来灌溉的，谈恋爱，更是不可以偷懒的。
有一对情侣，相约下班后去用餐，逛街，可是女孩因为公司会议延误了，当她冒雨赶到时候已经迟到了30多分钟，她男朋友很不高兴地说："你每次都这样，现在我什么心情也没了，我以后再也不会等你了！" 刹那间，女孩的心决堤崩溃了，她在想：或许，他们再也没有未来了。
同样，在同一个地点，另一对情侣也面临同样的处境，女孩赶到的时候也迟到了半个钟头，她的男朋友说："我想你一定忙坏了吧？" 接着他为女孩拭去脸上的雨水，并且脱去外套披在女孩身上，此刻，女孩流泪却是温馨幸福的。
你体会到了吗？其实爱恨往往只在我们的一念之间！爱不仅要懂得宽容更要及时，很多事可能只是在于你心境的转变罢了。如果有个人爱上你，而你也觉得他不错，那并不代表你会选择他。
我们总说："我要找一个很爱很爱的人，才会谈恋爱。" 但是当对方问你，怎样才算是很爱很爱的时候，你却无法回答他，因为你自己也不知道。
没错，我们总是以为，我们会找到一个自己很爱很爱的人。可是后来，当我们猛然回首，才发觉自己曾经多么天真。假如从来没有开始，你怎么知道自己会不会很爱 很爱那个人呢？其实，很爱很爱的感觉，是要在一起经历了许多事情之后才会发现的。每个人都希望找到自己心目中百分之百的伴侣，但是你有没有想过，在你身边 早有人对你默默付出很久了，只是你没有发觉而已。
所以，还是仔细看看身边的人吧，他或许已经等你很久了。当你爱一个人的时候，爱到八分绝对刚刚好。所有的期待和希望都只有七八分，剩下两三分用来爱自己。如果你还继续爱得更多，很可能给对方造成沉重的压力，让彼此喘不过气来，完全丧失了爱情的乐趣。
所以请记住，喝酒不要超过六分醉，吃饭不要超过七分饱，爱一个人不要超过八分。如果你正在为爱迷惘，下面这段话或许可以给你一些启示：爱一个人，要了解也 要开解；要道歉也要道谢；要认错也要改错；要体贴也要体谅；是接受而不是忍受；是宽容而不是纵容；是支持而不是支配；是慰问而不是质问；是倾诉而不是控 诉；是难忘而不是遗忘；是彼此交流而不是凡事交代；是为对方默默祈求而不向对方诸多要求。可以浪漫，但不要浪费，不要随便牵手，更不要随便放手。
但是慢慢地，随着认识的加深，你开始发现了对方的缺点，于是问题一个接一个出现，你开始烦、累，甚至想要逃避，有人说爱情就像捡石，总想捡到一个适合自己的，但是你又如何知道什么时候能够捡到呢？她适合你，那你又适合她吗？
其实，爱情应该像磨石子儿，或许刚捡到的时候，你不是那么满意，但是请记住，人是有弹性的，很多事情是可以改变的，只要你有心，有勇气，与其到处去捡未知 的石头，还不如将自己已经拥有的石头磨亮磨光，你开始磨了吗？很多人以为，是因为感情淡了，人才会变得懒惰，其实人是先被惰性征服，感惰才慢慢变淡的。
在某个聚餐的场合，有人提议多吃点虾对身体好，这时候有个中年男人忽然说：“十年前，当我老婆还是我女朋友的时候，她说要吃十只虾，我就剥二十只给她。现在，如果她要我帮她剥虾壳，简直就是开玩笑，我连帮她夹菜都没兴趣了，还剥虾壳呢。”
难怪越来越多的人只想谈一辈子恋爱，却迟迟不肯走入婚姻。因为，婚姻容易让人变得懒惰。
如果每个人都懒得讲话，懒得倾听，懒得制造惊喜，懒得温柔体贴，那么夫妻之间，又怎么会不渐行渐远渐无声呢？所以请记住，有活力的爱情是需要适度殷勤来灌溉的，谈恋爱，更是不可以偷懒的。
有一对情侣，相约下班后去用餐，逛街，可是女孩因为公司会议延误了，当她冒雨赶到时候已经迟到了30多分钟，她男朋友很不高兴地说："你每次都这样，现在我什么心情也没了，我以后再也不会等你了！" 刹那间，女孩的心决堤崩溃了，她在想：或许，他们再也没有未来了。
同样，在同一个地点，另一对情侣也面临同样的处境，女孩赶到的时候也迟到了半个钟头，她的男朋友说："我想你一定忙坏了吧？" 接着他为女孩拭去脸上的雨水，并且脱去外套披在女孩身上，此刻，女孩流泪却是温馨幸福的。
你体会到了吗？其实爱恨往往只在我们的一念之间！爱不仅要懂得宽容更要及时，很多事可能只是在于你心境的转变罢了。如果有个人爱上你，而你也觉得他不错，那并不代表你会选择他。
我们总说："我要找一个很爱很爱的人，才会谈恋爱。" 但是当对方问你，怎样才算是很爱很爱的时候，你却无法回答他，因为你自己也不知道。
没错，我们总是以为，我们会找到一个自己很爱很爱的人。可是后来，当我们猛然回首，才发觉自己曾经多么天真。假如从来没有开始，你怎么知道自己会不会很爱 很爱那个人呢？其实，很爱很爱的感觉，是要在一起经历了许多事情之后才会发现的。每个人都希望找到自己心目中百分之百的伴侣，但是你有没有想过，在你身边 早有人对你默默付出很久了，只是你没有发觉而已。
所以，还是仔细看看身边的人吧，他或许已经等你很久了。当你爱一个人的时候，爱到八分绝对刚刚好。所有的期待和希望都只有七八分，剩下两三分用来爱自己。如果你还继续爱得更多，很可能给对方造成沉重的压力，让彼此喘不过气来，完全丧失了爱情的乐趣。
所以请记住，喝酒不要超过六分醉，吃饭不要超过七分饱，爱一个人不要超过八分。如果你正在为爱迷惘，下面这段话或许可以给你一些启示：爱一个人，要了解也 要开解；要道歉也要道谢；要认错也要改错；要体贴也要体谅；是接受而不是忍受；是宽容而不是纵容；是支持而不是支配；是慰问而不是质问；是倾诉而不是控 诉；是难忘而不是遗忘；是彼此交流而不是凡事交代；是为对方默默祈求而不向对方诸多要求。可以浪漫，但不要浪费，不要随便牵手，更不要随便放手。
错过的遗憾
有时候觉得人很奇怪，尤其是对爱情的执着和无奈。
有没有试过曾经很爱很爱一个人，爱到他说什么都可以，爱到做你最不爱做的事情，爱到没有天没有地，只要他不经意的看你一眼，就觉得世界因为有他而美丽。。。
你会为他去找一样他喜欢的东西，你会偷偷准备好他爱吃的食物，你会为他编制了许多如果的事，你会哼他最爱的歌，你会刻意买和他一样的东西，你会风雨无阻的 走过他家让他发现你的存在，你会因为他开心而手舞足蹈，你会因为他难过而偷偷掉眼泪，你会偷偷在夜里叫他宝贝，一天又一天，一年又一年，没没有改变。。。
直到有一天，他说他爱着另一个她，他在你面前掉下无助的眼泪，他说他的世界不能没有她。。。
刹那间，你发现原来你千算万算，少算了他原来不爱你。。。
此刻流的泪绝不会比他少，而且你体会了心碎。。
后来，你逼自己走出这错误的陷阱，开始另一段旅途，一天又一天，一年又一年，一直很勇敢应付，渐渐地，你放下了对他的思念。。。
过了些年，你和他在街角碰面，你看了他一眼，造就了他整个美丽世界。。。
他开始为你寻找一样你爱的东西，他开始把你爱吃的食物偷偷放在你家门口，他开始为你假设了许多未来，他开始哼着你最爱的歌曲，他开始买你买过的东西，他开 始驾着车一次又一次地经过你的家，他开始因为你快乐而比你快乐，他开始因为你伤心而不知所措，他开始在来电显示名单上把你的名字换成老婆，一天又一天，一 年又一年，一直持续着。。。
直到有一天，你和另一个男生亲密地走在长长的路上，你挽着对方的手，笑得正甜，花开得正艳。。。
刹那间，他突然发现原来这些年不管他多努力，你还是已经离开了他的世界。。。
有些事，错过了就不能重来，留下的只剩心酸的遗憾。。。
是无奈吗？还是上天早已安排了这一场戏？
对不起，离开的始终离开了。。。
有没有试过曾经很爱很爱一个人，爱到他说什么都可以，爱到做你最不爱做的事情，爱到没有天没有地，只要他不经意的看你一眼，就觉得世界因为有他而美丽。。。
你会为他去找一样他喜欢的东西，你会偷偷准备好他爱吃的食物，你会为他编制了许多如果的事，你会哼他最爱的歌，你会刻意买和他一样的东西，你会风雨无阻的 走过他家让他发现你的存在，你会因为他开心而手舞足蹈，你会因为他难过而偷偷掉眼泪，你会偷偷在夜里叫他宝贝，一天又一天，一年又一年，没没有改变。。。
直到有一天，他说他爱着另一个她，他在你面前掉下无助的眼泪，他说他的世界不能没有她。。。
刹那间，你发现原来你千算万算，少算了他原来不爱你。。。
此刻流的泪绝不会比他少，而且你体会了心碎。。
后来，你逼自己走出这错误的陷阱，开始另一段旅途，一天又一天，一年又一年，一直很勇敢应付，渐渐地，你放下了对他的思念。。。
过了些年，你和他在街角碰面，你看了他一眼，造就了他整个美丽世界。。。
他开始为你寻找一样你爱的东西，他开始把你爱吃的食物偷偷放在你家门口，他开始为你假设了许多未来，他开始哼着你最爱的歌曲，他开始买你买过的东西，他开 始驾着车一次又一次地经过你的家，他开始因为你快乐而比你快乐，他开始因为你伤心而不知所措，他开始在来电显示名单上把你的名字换成老婆，一天又一天，一 年又一年，一直持续着。。。
直到有一天，你和另一个男生亲密地走在长长的路上，你挽着对方的手，笑得正甜，花开得正艳。。。
刹那间，他突然发现原来这些年不管他多努力，你还是已经离开了他的世界。。。
有些事，错过了就不能重来，留下的只剩心酸的遗憾。。。
是无奈吗？还是上天早已安排了这一场戏？
对不起，离开的始终离开了。。。
Men are hard to please!! 男人很难取悦!!
Men Are Hard To Please!!
The problems with GUYS:
If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
If u Don’t, he says u are PROUD.
If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
If u Don’t, he says u are from KAMPUNG.
If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.
If u are SMARTER than him, he’ll lose FACE;
If he’s Smarter than u, he is GREAT.
If u don’t Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)
If u don’t make love with him., he says u don’t Love him;
If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.
If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u don’t, he says that u don’t TRUST him.
If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.
If u SMOKE, u are BAD boy;
If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN.
If u do WELL in your exams, he says it’s LUCK;
If he does WELL, it’s BRAINS.
If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;
If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
男人很难取悦!!
男人的问题是：
如果你对他好，他说你爱上他了．
对他不好，他说你骄傲．
如果你穿得很漂亮，他说你企图诱惑他．
如果不，他说你是乡下来的
如果你跟他理论，他说你固执
如果你沉默，他说你没大脑！
如果你比他聪明，他说那是小聪明
如果他比你聪明，他就是有智慧！
如果你不爱他，他想拥有你
如果你爱他，他试着离开你．
如果你不跟他做爱，他说你不爱他
如果跟他做，他说你是贱货！
如果你告诉他你的问题，他说你麻烦
如果不，他说你不信任他
如果你骂他，你好象他奶妈
如果他骂你，是表示他"关心"你
如果你没有守承诺，你就是不可信的人
如果他不守承诺，他是迫不得已的
如果你吸烟，你是坏男孩
如果他吸烟，他是绅士
如果你考试成绩好，他说是运气
如果他考得好，他说是实力！
如果你伤害了他，表示你很残忍
如果他伤害了你，表示你太敏感而且太难取悦！
The problems with GUYS:
If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
If u Don’t, he says u are PROUD.
If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
If u Don’t, he says u are from KAMPUNG.
If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.
If u are SMARTER than him, he’ll lose FACE;
If he’s Smarter than u, he is GREAT.
If u don’t Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)
If u don’t make love with him., he says u don’t Love him;
If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.
If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u don’t, he says that u don’t TRUST him.
If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.
If u SMOKE, u are BAD boy;
If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN.
If u do WELL in your exams, he says it’s LUCK;
If he does WELL, it’s BRAINS.
If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;
If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
男人很难取悦!!
男人的问题是：
如果你对他好，他说你爱上他了．
对他不好，他说你骄傲．
如果你穿得很漂亮，他说你企图诱惑他．
如果不，他说你是乡下来的
如果你跟他理论，他说你固执
如果你沉默，他说你没大脑！
如果你比他聪明，他说那是小聪明
如果他比你聪明，他就是有智慧！
如果你不爱他，他想拥有你
如果你爱他，他试着离开你．
如果你不跟他做爱，他说你不爱他
如果跟他做，他说你是贱货！
如果你告诉他你的问题，他说你麻烦
如果不，他说你不信任他
如果你骂他，你好象他奶妈
如果他骂你，是表示他"关心"你
如果你没有守承诺，你就是不可信的人
如果他不守承诺，他是迫不得已的
如果你吸烟，你是坏男孩
如果他吸烟，他是绅士
如果你考试成绩好，他说是运气
如果他考得好，他说是实力！
如果你伤害了他，表示你很残忍
如果他伤害了你，表示你太敏感而且太难取悦！
Social Mathematics
Social Mathemathics
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You’re next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You’re next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Who said your English is bad??
Who says your English is bad?
Just read below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-point, effective, user friendly and etc... :p
WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britains: I’m sorry, Sir, but we don’t seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.
RETURNING A CALL
Britains: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?
ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY.
Britains: Excuse me, I’d like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me
WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britains: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No-need, lah.
WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britains: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) Can ar?
WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britains: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don’t be shy, lah!
WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britains: I don’t recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?
WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britains: I’d prefer not to do that, if you don’t mind.
Malaysians: Don’t want la...
IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britains: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you’re coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britains: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I’m trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britains: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?
WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britains: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!!
WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen? Why like that...??
WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britains: This isn’t the way to do it here let me show you,
Malaysians: Like that also don’t know how to do!!!!
WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britains: Would you mind not disturbing me
Malaysians: Celaka you...
Just read below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-point, effective, user friendly and etc... :p
WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britains: I’m sorry, Sir, but we don’t seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.
RETURNING A CALL
Britains: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?
ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY.
Britains: Excuse me, I’d like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me
WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britains: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No-need, lah.
WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britains: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) Can ar?
WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britains: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don’t be shy, lah!
WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britains: I don’t recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?
WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britains: I’d prefer not to do that, if you don’t mind.
Malaysians: Don’t want la...
IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britains: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you’re coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britains: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I’m trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britains: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?
WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britains: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!!
WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen? Why like that...??
WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britains: This isn’t the way to do it here let me show you,
Malaysians: Like that also don’t know how to do!!!!
WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britains: Would you mind not disturbing me
Malaysians: Celaka you...
Tuesday, 23 January 2007
Love is blind
Share an article with you all...Love is blind
There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she's blind.
She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He's always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she can see everything, including her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you marry me?"
The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend is blind too, and refused to marry him.
Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying, "Just take care of my eyes dear."
This is how human brain changes when the status changed.
Only few remember what life was before, and who's always been there even in the most painful situations.
Life Is A Gift
Today before you think of saying an unkind word
Think of someone who can't speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food
Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife
Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion.
Today before you complain about life
Think of someone who went too early to heaven.
Before you complain about your children
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn't clean or sweep
Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job
Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another
Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down
Put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around.
Life is a gift
Live it
Enjoy it
Celebrate it
EMBRACE IT
And fulfill it
And while you are at it give love to someone today
Love someone with what you do and the words you say
Love is not meant to be kept locked inside of us and hidden
So give it away "Give Love to someone today!"
There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she's blind.
She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He's always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she can see everything, including her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you marry me?"
The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend is blind too, and refused to marry him.
Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying, "Just take care of my eyes dear."
This is how human brain changes when the status changed.
Only few remember what life was before, and who's always been there even in the most painful situations.
Life Is A Gift
Today before you think of saying an unkind word
Think of someone who can't speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food
Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife
Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion.
Today before you complain about life
Think of someone who went too early to heaven.
Before you complain about your children
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn't clean or sweep
Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job
Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another
Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down
Put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around.
Life is a gift
Live it
Enjoy it
Celebrate it
EMBRACE IT
And fulfill it
And while you are at it give love to someone today
Love someone with what you do and the words you say
Love is not meant to be kept locked inside of us and hidden
So give it away "Give Love to someone today!"
Thursday, 18 January 2007
Saturday, 13 January 2007
How to look happy at work
Something to share with you...
Obligatory Office Equipment (OOE)
KEEP ON SMILING!
Another sensational idea for office equipment!
Take 2 paper clips and elastic rubber bands. Assemble them as shown on the picture and apply the construction as below:
Enjoy your day!
This obligatory office equipment will help you to reach the end of the day with a smile on your face!
Obligatory Office Equipment (OOE)
KEEP ON SMILING!
Another sensational idea for office equipment!
- Workload getting to you?
- Feeling stressed?
- Too many initiatives "cascading" down?
Take 2 paper clips and elastic rubber bands. Assemble them as shown on the picture and apply the construction as below:
Enjoy your day!
This obligatory office equipment will help you to reach the end of the day with a smile on your face!
12 things idiots do on Friendster
ONE
There is NO SUCH THING as a friendster tracker.
It does NOT exist. so quit posting stupid bulletins like "who views your profile the most" or "OMG this works!!!"
Sorry but NO, it doesn't work !
TWO
Those who owned a lot of accounts of friendster.
WHATS THE POINT ADDING THE SAME FRIEND?
Stop doing stupid things like sending lots of same repeated message on bulletin with the subject ADD ME!!
THREE
Don't ever post pictures and say
"OMG, I'm so ugly"
"OMG, I'm so fat"
because if you were, you wouldn't post them.
And if you do you are a freaking mongoloid.
FOUR
Nobody cares about threats over the internet.
Don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard.
Fighting online is like racing in the special olympics; even if you win, you're still retarded.
FIVE
Quit crying because you're not on someones top 8.
who cares? ITS FRIENDSTER!!!
Stop bitching!!!
SIX
Who really cares if I don't accept you as a friend?
MOVE ON!!!
Don't send me another request or message asking "what's up with you not adding me?"
I don't want you as a friend, that's what's up Mister!!!
SEVEN
Little 12 year olds who have Friendster and look like sluts, and act like whores go somewhere else because nobody wants you here.
EIGHT
If you have decided to read this, you are a true Friendster Friend.
Real friends read their bulletins.
NINE
I say you go and pass this on and maybe it will finally get through people's brains.
TEN
And if you open a bulletin and it says something like "repost this in 100 seconds or a ghost will rape your f*cking dog tonight, or some dead skinless girl is gonna rape your mom..."
QUIT BEING A DUMBASS!!
Yeah, no such things!!!!
ELEVEN
To the people who have like 25,000 friends, are you serious?
You're stupid. Go play in traffic.
TWELVE
Since when did testimonials become personal messages and love letters?
As far as i know testimonial is what you know about your friends.
Why all the lovey-dovey messages seems to pop up everywhere?
like, "iii llluuuuuuuuurrrrrrvvvvvveeeeee you sooooooo much deeeeeaaariiiieeeeeeeee..."
This is a test to see how many people in your friends list actually pay attention to you.
Please copy and paste this bulletin and put the title as "12 things idiots do on Friendster"
There is NO SUCH THING as a friendster tracker.
It does NOT exist. so quit posting stupid bulletins like "who views your profile the most" or "OMG this works!!!"
Sorry but NO, it doesn't work !
TWO
Those who owned a lot of accounts of friendster.
WHATS THE POINT ADDING THE SAME FRIEND?
Stop doing stupid things like sending lots of same repeated message on bulletin with the subject ADD ME!!
THREE
Don't ever post pictures and say
"OMG, I'm so ugly"
"OMG, I'm so fat"
because if you were, you wouldn't post them.
And if you do you are a freaking mongoloid.
FOUR
Nobody cares about threats over the internet.
Don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard.
Fighting online is like racing in the special olympics; even if you win, you're still retarded.
FIVE
Quit crying because you're not on someones top 8.
who cares? ITS FRIENDSTER!!!
Stop bitching!!!
SIX
Who really cares if I don't accept you as a friend?
MOVE ON!!!
Don't send me another request or message asking "what's up with you not adding me?"
I don't want you as a friend, that's what's up Mister!!!
SEVEN
Little 12 year olds who have Friendster and look like sluts, and act like whores go somewhere else because nobody wants you here.
EIGHT
If you have decided to read this, you are a true Friendster Friend.
Real friends read their bulletins.
NINE
I say you go and pass this on and maybe it will finally get through people's brains.
TEN
And if you open a bulletin and it says something like "repost this in 100 seconds or a ghost will rape your f*cking dog tonight, or some dead skinless girl is gonna rape your mom..."
QUIT BEING A DUMBASS!!
Yeah, no such things!!!!
ELEVEN
To the people who have like 25,000 friends, are you serious?
You're stupid. Go play in traffic.
TWELVE
Since when did testimonials become personal messages and love letters?
As far as i know testimonial is what you know about your friends.
Why all the lovey-dovey messages seems to pop up everywhere?
like, "iii llluuuuuuuuurrrrrrvvvvvveeeeee you sooooooo much deeeeeaaariiiieeeeeeeee..."
This is a test to see how many people in your friends list actually pay attention to you.
Please copy and paste this bulletin and put the title as "12 things idiots do on Friendster"
Why One Must Know How To Speak English
Just for laugh.., no offence..."p
One day, an Ang Moh (Mat Salleh) arrived at airport.
After he checked out from the customs, he felt he needed to go to the toilet, so he looked for one.
When he found the toilet, there was a lady sitting at the entrance.
When he was about to enter the toilet, the lady stopped him and asked for forty cents in Cantonese ("sey kok").
The Mat Salleh wondered why in MALAYSIA they have to "see the cock" before entering the toilet?
So he said "no" but the lady insisted.
Since he had no choice, he took out his cock and showed it to her.
The lady said "No! No! Duit, Duit! (money in Malay)"
but the Ang Moh misunderstood again and thought that she said "Do it! Do it!"
So he asked, "Now? Here?"
The lady replied "Yes, yes!" because she doesn't quite understand English.
The Ang Moh thought that she wanted to have sex with him, so he stripped the lady and made love to her.
The lady started screaming and shouted, "SAKIT! SAKIT! (pain in Malay)" and the Ang Moh thought it was "SUCK IT! SUCK IT!"
He said "OK! I will suck it for you" and took both breasts and suck them.
The lady again screamed "Oh, TUHAN! (Oh, MY GOD....in Malay)".
The Ang Moh misunderstood again.
"Too HARD? OK, sweetheart, I'll be gentler a bit," the Ang Moh replied.
Suddenly, a security guard walked by, so the lady shouted for help, "TOLONG! TOLONG, ENCIK!"
The Ang Moh replied, "Not too long, just 6 inches only."
One day, an Ang Moh (Mat Salleh) arrived at airport.
After he checked out from the customs, he felt he needed to go to the toilet, so he looked for one.
When he found the toilet, there was a lady sitting at the entrance.
When he was about to enter the toilet, the lady stopped him and asked for forty cents in Cantonese ("sey kok").
The Mat Salleh wondered why in MALAYSIA they have to "see the cock" before entering the toilet?
So he said "no" but the lady insisted.
Since he had no choice, he took out his cock and showed it to her.
The lady said "No! No! Duit, Duit! (money in Malay)"
but the Ang Moh misunderstood again and thought that she said "Do it! Do it!"
So he asked, "Now? Here?"
The lady replied "Yes, yes!" because she doesn't quite understand English.
The Ang Moh thought that she wanted to have sex with him, so he stripped the lady and made love to her.
The lady started screaming and shouted, "SAKIT! SAKIT! (pain in Malay)" and the Ang Moh thought it was "SUCK IT! SUCK IT!"
He said "OK! I will suck it for you" and took both breasts and suck them.
The lady again screamed "Oh, TUHAN! (Oh, MY GOD....in Malay)".
The Ang Moh misunderstood again.
"Too HARD? OK, sweetheart, I'll be gentler a bit," the Ang Moh replied.
Suddenly, a security guard walked by, so the lady shouted for help, "TOLONG! TOLONG, ENCIK!"
The Ang Moh replied, "Not too long, just 6 inches only."
Friday, 5 January 2007
Why man wants to be inside woman...
Something for you to laugh:
"Woman" has* **Man* in it;
"Mrs." has* **Mr* in it;
"Female" has* **Male* in it;
"She" has* **He* in it;
"Madam" has* **Adam* in it;
No wonder men always want to be inside women!
ANSWER IS Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman......
Why?
BECAUSE HOME SWEET HOME.
"Woman" has* **Man* in it;
"Mrs." has* **Mr* in it;
"Female" has* **Male* in it;
"She" has* **He* in it;
"Madam" has* **Adam* in it;
No wonder men always want to be inside women!
ANSWER IS Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman......
Why?
BECAUSE HOME SWEET HOME.
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