Jokes again...

Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
1st: How yours look like?
2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find yours!!
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Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend to death.
Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".
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Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother."
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER."
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What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress
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Husband asks, "Do u know the meaning of WIFE?? "Without Information Fighting Everytime"
Wife replies, "No, It means ,"With Idiot For Ever !!!"
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Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
andPanic is when both are pregnant.
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Teacher: u know the importance of period?
Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.
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Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are yours???
No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.
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Sons asks difference between confidence and confidential.
Dad says, you are my son, I'm confident. Your friend is also my son, that's confidential!**********
Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this is the right time we shouldtalk about sex.
Daughter (Excitingly): Sure mom, tell me what do you want to know.
Mother Faints...